09-08-2018 02:22 PM - edited 09-08-2018 02:46 PM
It is more we hate seeing you in distress BB - than you making us distressed Hon @BlueBay It is not easy seeing people we care about it distress and not knowing sometimes what to do to help - but we do listen and support you because we truly care
09-08-2018 04:37 PM
Sometimes its all too much
Nothing like a brief headbutt, a deep breath, bedtime meds & start again tomorrow - take care xox
10-08-2018 06:46 PM - edited 10-08-2018 09:13 PM
I saw the female doctor this morning and she said it seems to be getting better. It’s still red snd itchy but she said to give it another week.
I had a huge breakdown this afternoon. Called the clinic and was put through to the other make dr. He’s quite nice too very caring. I blurted our that I’m not coping that I don’t cate about my meds and that I need a break. I was crying so much. It’s been a build up. He asked if I wanted to go to hospital snd I refused saying they don’t do much. Also if I went I wouldn’t get paid therefore our already bad finances would be even more worse. I feel stuck. He said I need to tslk to hubby sbd call the CAT team. He then wanted to see me before he closed tonight. When I went in I asked for a sleeping tablet and he refused saying that my normal doctor has written no pills. Great !!! I thdn got angry and started to cry again. He said he feels for me. I told him I’m over all this therapy. I’m over feeling so down dark thoughts. I told him I was abused and I still feel bad.
He said he is so sorry what happened to me. He said he will call me tomorrow to check in on me.
I’m very depressed. When hubby came home from work he saw me on the couch curled up crying. He asked what’s wrong and I told him it’s my depression it’s getting worse.
I feel like smashing a few things. Or self harm is on my mind a lot right now.
11-08-2018 05:45 AM
11-08-2018 07:36 AM
Thankyou @lapses im beginning to think That’s what I have. When I next see my doctor I’m going to ask for blood tests to check everything. My iron could be really low. Battling is tough. I don’t have the energy to fight this anymore.
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